Even Emeril Needs a Brush Up: Grilled Pork Tenderloin

It is not infrequently that I’m asked to donate a cooking class to some good cause. I try to focus on a food-specific organizations (Slow Food, Food Bank), organizations that promote health, and local groups (schools). I've always preferred donating talents to money, as I seem to have more of the former.

But sadly, as my business grows, I’ve been less and less inclined to promise that I will be teaching the classes I donate, because my travel schedule has been hectic. Home Made Simple has me happily shooting Season 3 in Chicago – I’m thrilled to be here, but it makes teaching home cooking classes back in Manhattan difficult.

But for some reason, when I recently donated a class to the Food Bank, they were almost insistent that I teach the class I donate. So I hemmed, and hawed and finally gave in. It’s for a good cause after all. Since I donated myself, I was put in a special auction, one that was shouted by an auctioneer instead of silently described. It was called Soul Kitchen.

As it was described at the event:

SOUL KITCHEN: Thom Filicia, the "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" with the eye for design, will give your kitchen the once-over twice, to help detect flaws and make you a man (or woman) with a plan. The Electrolux Group built a custom orange stove-Molteni stoves are designed to meet the demands of the world's greatest chefs. Stunning Veneta Cucine kitchen cabinetry and counters from Chelsea Fine Custom Kitchens will give you the kitchen you've always dreamed about, staring into showrooms like Holly Go-Lightly. OXO GOOD GRIPS Cooking and Entertaining package contains many of the tools you need to create and serve culinary masterpieces and enjoy additional kitchen improvement products from Home Depot and IKEA. So all this work is not just for show, the host of the TLC program "Home Made Simple" Allison Fishman, has donated a private Manhattan or Brooklyn-based cooking class for up to two students, taught by her, from the Wooden Spoon. You now have no excuse not to, well, cook.

Not bad, right? I felt honored to be on such a lineup (batting cleanup, I might add). So you can imagine my surprise and delight when I found out that the person who donated $21,000 to the organization for the package was none other than Emeril Lagasse!

Does Emeril really need a class from me? I ate at his flagship NOLA back in ’94, and I assure you, this man can cook. Forget about the bamming, and the producers asking him to pander to a certain demographic; I’d be humbly honored to just sit in his kitchen and watch. This man has forgotten more than I’ll ever know.

So what gives? Well, we do what we can with what we’ve got, and now and then we get the change to do some good and make a difference. I donated my time, and Emeril donated a whole lot of money. We both gave back to an industry we love, in the ways we were best suited.

Herb Grilled Pork Loin
This is an incredibly delicious dish that couldn't be simpler. A quick meal, based on little things I could pull from around the garden and fridge. Use the pork for Cubanos the next day. Mmmm.

2 pork tenderloins, trimmed of excess fat and silver skin
6 large sprigs rosemary, leaves roughly chopped
4 sprigs thyme, roughly chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
Zest of 1 lemon
1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon kosher salt

In a large plastic bag, add pork, rosemary, thyme, garlic, olive oil, lemon zest, and crushed red pepper flakes. Massage marinate into the pork, squeeze all the air out of the bag, and seal it. Let pork sit at room temperature for 30 to 45 minutes.

Heat grill to medium-high. Season pork well with salt. Grill on all sides, 5 minutes per side, about 20 minutes total (cook until internal temperature of pork is 135 to 140 F). Let rest 5 to 10 minutes, then slice thinly. Serve warm.

Organizing the Kitchen: Crispy Duck Breasts

The Wooden Spoon teaches people how to cook. My instructors and I come to your house, and in 2 1/2 hours, you’re just made a beautiful meal.

But what I’m learning from time spent in your kitchen is that your main question has nothing to do with searing, deep frying, or braising. It’s about food organization. Getting the stuff to come out of the oven hot, and on time.

Let’s take last night’s class as an example. I was working with a young couple to make the following menu:

Gnocchi with Tomatoes and Basil
Crispy Duck with Cremini Mushroom Pan Sauce
Artichoke Potato Gratin
Profiteroles with Chocolate Sauce

This couple was extraordinarily savvy in kitchen concepts (Food TV addicts, 'nuff said), but a little bit less comfortable with the basics of holding a knife. As a newly married set, they had kitchen equipment coming out the wazoo, so the first thing I did was clear 5 major appliances out of the kitchen, so that we’d have room to put cutting boards down. Half the equipment is now on it’s way to Goodwill, and the unopened matzo was definitely on it’s way to a local soup kitchen. An over-equipped kitchen is more of a cooking hindrance than an understocked one.

We cooked, we kvelled, and they had a lovely meal by the time I left. But the most important skill they learned was how to organize this meal for next time.

++ Make the gratin a day or two in advance. Casseroles are built for (and improved by) reheating.

++Profiteroles & chocolate sauce can be made ahead too. In fact, stuff the profiteroles with the ice cream in advance, and leave them in the freezer. Sit them in the fridge for 30 minutes before serving. Or better yet, let your guests stuff the puffs themselves!

++ Gnocchi – make the dumplings and freeze for up to 1 month before serving. I prefer freezing them cut and uncooked; simply drop the frozen guys into pasta water and continue the recipe as described.

++ Make the duck that day. This should take no longer than 1 hour.

Although the format of my 2 1/2 hour cooking classes are an efficient way to learn, they make absolutely no sense if you want to have a dinner party. Like they say about family life: if mama’s happy, everyone’s happy. When the host is calm and satisfied, your guests will be too.

The best way to ensure a happy host is to make dinner about reheating with a little bit of day-of cooking. Never attempt to blitz cook a dinner party, that’s a one-way path to frustration (and sweaty ickyness; trust me, far better to shower, makeup and have a glass of wine before guests arrive).

Crispy Seared Duck Breast with Mushroom-Thyme Sauce
Serves 4

2 (1-pound) boneless duck breasts with skin (preferably Long Island, or Pekin)
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 small shallot, chopped
1 8-ounce container cremini mushrooms, sliced
1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme leaves, plus sprigs for garnish
1/3 cup dry white wine
1/2 cup good-quality low-sodium chicken stock
1/4 cup cream

1. Preheat oven to 450F. Put duck breasts, skin sides down, on a cutting board. Using a sharp knife and following shape of breast, trim excess fat. Score the skin, using a diagonal checkerboard pattern.

2. Pat duck dry and season with salt and pepper. Put duck, skin sides down, in skillet. Turn burner to medium and cook duck until skin renders, pouring out excess duck fat, about 7 minutes. Increase heat to high to crisp the duck skin, this should take 2 to 3 minutes. Turn duck over and place in the oven. Roast duck in the middle of oven for about 5 minutes for medium-rare (135 F on a meat thermometer). Remove duck from skillets and let duck rest, covered with aluminum foil for at least 5 minutes.

3. Meanwhile, add about 2 tablespoons duck fat to a medium skillet over medium-high heat. Add shallots, mushrooms and thyme to skillet and cook over medium-high heat until beginning to crisp, about 8 minutes. Add white wine to skillet and cook, scraping up browned bits until skillet is almost completely dry. Add chicken stock until reduced by half; stir in cream. Season with salt and pepper as desired. Thinly slice duck and serve with sauce.

You Think New Yorkers are Rude? Skillet Hash Browns

It's been said that New Yorkers are rude. I think I'm first in a long line of people that agree. Of course I pushed and shoved my way to get the front of that line, but so what?

Take for example, my front door. After a week of traveling, complete with nice little suburban doormats that say "Welcome" or "A Fisherman Lives Here with the Catch of His Life", I return to a graffiti scrawling: Fuck You. Fuck THIS. Come and visit if you don't believe me; I'm not exaggerating; it's right at eye level, in shiny metallic ink. A Brooklyn "welcome home" if you will; it sets the tone for my time here.

I had a little get away to the country this weekend; I went to see friends of mine who have a house near Rhinebeck. I brought my dog. Is that rude? It depends. I think she was welcomed, as long as she behaved. Which she did, more or less. Is jumping on people rude? Nah, they love her. She's so perky and happy. Right?

Instead of walking her the first morning, I thought I'd give us both a break from the leash (urban necessity), and I let her out the door. She ran across all 1 1/2 acres , and leaped the water feature to go after something. A squirrel, a chipmunk, something rural. Oh whoops, it's a little boy biking down the street. She lunged at the kid, who let out a yelp. Ah, she's so playful and cute, right? She wouldn't hurt him, she was just defending us. What a dog. I called her back, she came a-running, tail wagging, so happy to be in the country.

Are you kidding me? The kid was on a bike; he was fine. Learn to pedal, junior.

Fine, fine, so in case other folks are uptight, I put her on a leash. A walk would be a good opportunity to get on the cell and check messages, as I didn't want to do that in front of my friends. That's rude.

So we walked, and I talked "What? Can you hear me? What if I talk louder?", and Kayla finally did her business. On someone's lawn. No bags. Whoops.

Hey, it's the country, right? But wait, there's a shadow in the kitchen by the sink. I waved; she ducked. Shoot. What would be ruder; a hit-and-run, a hit-wave-and-run? I'm committed now, I think.

I went to the door. "Hi there," put down the cell phone. "I was just walking my um, I'm not from here, and um" I point to the pile. "Might you have a bag?" She shrugged it off; not to worry. She told me my dog was cute.

That was right, right? I wasn't rude? My dog *is* cute!

Driving home, I got lost in Jersey. Maybe it was the GPS, or the cell phone, or the fact that my convertible top was down, or maybe the fact that I was trying to juggle all three at the same time, while driving a stick. Gosh, that's a lot of wires to untangle while going 80 on the highway. I needed to take a break and refocus, so I was so thankful, when that cop pulled me over for making a very illegal (and very clearly marked) left turn.

"My gosh, I'm so sorry. But thanks for pulling me over. I could use your help; I need directions to the train station to pick up a friend."

"License and registration."

"Oh, no problem sir. What a beautiful day, isn't it? Listen, while I'm getting that, would you mind -- oh no, she doesn't bite, she's a sweet mutt aren't you, girl -- anyway, can I just call my friend? She's at the train station waiting for me. I just don't want her to worry. Oh here it is."

"This expired in 2005."

"Whoops! Right you are. You see it's my mom's car. It was my car, but I sold it to her. Anyhoo...how about this?" I handed him a pawfull of tickets and North Carolina registration. "Is it okay for me to call my friend now?"

He sighed. "This expired in 2006. You know what, you made a left where it clearly says not to. Looks like you've got a lot going on. I'm not even going to call this in. Just, please drive, somewhat more together, okay?"

"I am so, so sorry. I certainly will. Thanks so much, sir. Can you tell me where that train station is?"

What, being completely self-centered on the road is rude? It puts other people's lives in danger? What do you mean? I think you're being more than a little uptight.

A friend had me over for dinner last night. I didn't have time to get anything, so I thought I'd make a dish out of whatever she had. I mean, people always have a couple of potatoes, an onion and some butter around, right? So I didn't spend any money, give any thought, take any time or show any consideration, but I made a side dish in less than 2 hours. You think that's selfish? Oh you have no idea. You should come to New York.


Skillet Hash Browns

2 large leftover baked potatoes (1 1/2 - 2 pounds), roughly peeled and sliced 1/4- to 1/3-inch thick
1 large onion, chopped
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
Hot sauce, as desired for serving

1. Heat broiler. Heat skillet over medium high heat. Add 2 tablespoons butter. When it melts, layer potatoes in the skillet, and put onions on top; dot with butter and season well with salt and pepper.

2. Reduce heat to medium, and let potatoes brown. Cook for 15 minutes, stirring every five minutes or so. Place under the broiler for a final 3 to 5 minutes to crisp the top. Serve the skillet at the table, with hot sauce.