Choking on the Alternatives

I finally have had a doctor verify that which I’ve suspected for some time: I’m too hot. Too spirited, too passionate, too intense, just too damn hot. Too much red meat, too much coffee, too much alcohol. In general too much hedonism, too much excitement, too much of everything.

You see, I’ve been spending time with an acupuncturist, who has been curing me of this bizarre skin condition (red dots all over my body) that has stumped doctors and dermatologists for the last few months.

I’ve been put on a regimen of daily wheat grass shots, milk thistle and cordyceps tinctures, and cooling food. This includes lots of beets, cucumber, celery, watercress, artichokes, and radishes. I’ve been asked to lay off the spices and meats, drink a lot of water, and see if I that can't help get whatever toxins are coming through my skin completely out of my system.

But the most outstanding side effect of seeing an alternative practitioner is this: she’s taking my whole life into consideration when attempting to cure this condition. And what we've come to realize is that these dots ebb and flow with JChef’s affections. Things are bliss-central: no dots. Things are fuzzy and unclear and torturous: dots. Now that things are done, the dots have completely stopped.

Yes, I am blaming my skin condition on my love life. And I’m not the first – a good friend of mine had hives for 1 1/2 years – from her bachelorette party through the wedding and the marriage. They only concluded with her ex-husbands departure.

Sometimes our brains are a little late to catch up with things that are out of synch in our lives, and other parts of our body start to speak up.

I realize this is a bit hokey, but I tell you, live in my body for a few days and you’ll see it makes perfect sense. Sometimes when you need to get someone out of your system, you literally need to get them out of your system. You let a person into your heart, your world, your spirit, and then you need to literally exorcize them from your body in order to get over them and move on. It takes more than deleting someone from the phone; sometimes it’s a whole lot of wheat grass, healthy living and faith.


Grilled Artichoke, Arugula, and Parmesan Salad with Shallot Beurre
Serves 4

2 artichokes
4 shallots, minced
2 lemons
1 stick butter (cut into small cubes), plus 2 tablespoons
1 bunch arugula, washed and trimmed
3/4 cup parmesan shavings (sliced with a vegetable peeler)
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup olive oil
Salt and pepper

1. Halve artichokes lengthwise; trim and remove choke. Rub cut sides with a lemon, place in a microwave-safe container; submerge in water. Cover, and microwave 15 minutes, or until softened. (Artichokes can be prepared to this point up to 3 days ahead).

2. For dipping sauce: In a medium saucepan, melt 2 tablespoons butter and sweat shallots for 5 to 10 minutes; cover with water by 1/2 inch and the juice of 1 lemon. Simmer 10 minutes, or until translucent and water has reduced. Place in blender and buzz, adding butter cubes as you buzz. Season with salt to taste, and more lemon juice if necessary (note, if this sits for too long, it may solidify. Just re-buzz in the blender to make it sauce consistency again).

3. To finish artichokes: Preheat grill & coat with oil. Grill artichokes until they have grill marks (about 5 minutes per side) and are warmed through.

4. For salad: Just before serving, combine arugula and parmesan in a bowl, drizzle with balsamic and oil; season with salt and pepper. Toss to coat; divide amongst serving plates. Serve artichokes on top of salad greens with sauce.