Pinch Hit Tuna Salad: Fish Man style

Hold on to your mice, blogger readers, because this week I have a real treat for you.

Right now, I'm in Baltimore, working on a television show as "talent". I'm actually being hired for my "personality". This does not cease to amuse me, and it's a total blast, and I'm getting to do what I love most -- help people cook in their kitchens. It's a dream situation and I'm not talking about it too much because, well, it's one of those things that I'm afraid to talk about because then I'll find out it's some weird Tony Soprano-style dream. But I'll keep you clued in, and will CERTAINLY tell you when it's going to air, so all y'all can make the network's Nielsen dreams come true.

IN ANY CASE, as I've been putting in long days cooking, grocery shopping, getting my hair and make-up primped, meeting and working with wonderful people, I haven't had a moment to myself to write the blog.

So I asked my family to help. I called my parents, desperate, at about 7PM this evening, and my Dad came through. He pitched me on a few different recipes, but really felt strongly about his tuna salad, as it has "surprised and amused" many a discerning palate.

And so I present to you, the Fish Man recipe for:

Family Friendly Tuna Fish
by Marshall Fishman (pinch hitting for his daughter, Allison while she is on assignment)

I am a person of sixty-two years old who remembers enjoying tuna fish for over the past fifty years. During that period of time, hopefully, I have cultivated my taste of tuna fish and wish to share that experience with you. It may be of some interest to you that tuna fish was a staple in my house as I was growing up. We used to accuse my parents of stockpiling tuna fish. There were always at least 12 unopened cans in the house at all times.

Recipe
2 small cans of tuna fish packed in water
salt and freshly ground pepper
mayonnaise
1 to 2 fresh celery stalks
powdered dry mustard
1 1/2-2 tsp. mustard either Dijon or comparable
celery salt
onion powder
garlic salt
garlic powder
1 hardboiled egg (optional)
fresh lemon juice

1. Empty two cans of drained tuna into mixing bowl. Spend 1 to 2 minutes mashing and separating.

2. Add small amount of salt and freshly ground pepper. Continue mashing for another 30 to 60 seconds.

3. Add mayonnaise until you get the flavor and consistency you enjoy. Some people like their tuna fish dry others liked it very moist.

4. Dice 1 celery stalk and add to tuna and stir. If you feel you need more add as much of a second stalk as you wish.

4. Add three or four "shakes" of dry mustard and 1 1/2- 2 tsp. of Dijon-type mustard. Mash again for 30 to 60 seconds.

5.Add celery salt, onion powder, garlic salt and garlic powder 2 to 3 "shakes" of each. After you have tasted, add appropriately more celery salt, onion powder, garlic salt or garlic powder. In addition, if you feel you need some, add more ground black pepper.

[Optional, at this point,is the adding of 1 hard-boiled egg which has separately been mashed. Your may put in 1/4 to 1/2 of the egg to determine if you enjoy the taste. If so, you may either stop there or add more of the remaining egg or eat the egg separately.Your own personal taste is the key.]

6. Next squeeze in the juice of 1/8 of a lemon and again mix 20 to 30 seconds.

You have now come up with family friendly tuna fish adjusting for the taste of you and your family.

You may use this as a snack, a sandwich, or the better part of a meal as you see fit.

Enjoy!