Kinetic Couscous

Last New Years, I resolved that this would be the year I’d write a book. Well, a book proposal at least. I’m not married, I don't have a kid, plus, I took a few lucrative gigs this year to give myself time, and now I’ve got it.

Nuthin but time. Yeppers, that’s me. Full of time. Just me, time, and a blank screen. Ti-ai-ai-me is on my side. Yes it is…Time won't give me time / And time makes lovers feel / Like they've got something real / But you and me we know / They've got nothing but time...if you're lost you can look--and you will find me / time after time / if you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting / time after time ...A time to be born, a time to die / A time to plant, a time to reap / A time to kill, a time to heal / A time to laugh, a time to weep. It's a regular time-o-pallooza over here.

Any new mom (ie. everyone who lives in my neighborhood) will look at me like I’ve won the lottery. “Oh, if only I had more time!” she whines, explaining why her husband is eating microwave popcorn for dinner. Again.

You're right; I can't relate and it’s not just because I don’t have a microwave. I can relate to people who, like me, have time. Like retired people; like my dad. He wakes up and thinks about getting out of bed. He gets out of bed. He gets ready for a meal, eats, digests, then watches some TV. Then he thinks about the next meal he’ll eat, and eats again. Then it's time to sleep, wake up and do it all over again.

Things that would just be small components of a busy person’s day become major things that me and the retirees need to wrap my head around. Like getting a manicure. I’ve procrastinated that for two weeks, because, well I don’t know if I can take an entire hour from my day to do it. I have so much to do, and that just seems like such an indulgence.

Ordinarily, I am that busy person you give things to when you want them done. But now, you can count on me cancelling every dinner date and coffee I have planned, because it’s hard to squeeze that 45 minutes out of my day. I’m just really tight on time.

But don’t take my word for it; ask my dog. She hasn’t been walked for three days.

Mealtime is hard because I haven’t been shopping in a few weeks. It’s just too time consuming. And anyway the pantry has stuff... I could feed a small village with dried beans, barley and other food that’s only there because I don’t like it and if I did I would have EATEN it by now.

See? I have plenty to tide me over, no need to leave the house. Plus, if I did, it might rain, and then I’d get soggy. Who wants all that time-consuming fuss of toweling off. And anyway I don’t have an umbrella. And I definitely don’t have time to stop by the hardware store and buy one.

I’m not shopping or leaving the house, and even though my fridge is bare, and my pantry is filled with food I don’t want, I can find something to eat. But who has the time to cook? I could be writing the 37th incarnation of the book proposal. That’s my focus right now, that’s where my energy is. My numero uno priority-o.

I need to focus. Should I turn on NPR? Nah, they’ll just distract me. Wouldn’t want that. Then I’ll have to search the web for at least 45 minutes to determine whether Trig is actually Sarah Palin’s child or not. And I did that yesterday.

My belly is rumbling -- it needs to be fed. I could, I suppose, go downstairs and get a slice, or a yogurt, or a bagel. I have fifteen shops on my block that will let me get my lunch on. That won’t take much time at all.

But I am on the fourth floor of a walk up. Down and back up again. What a hassle. Then I’d have to put on shoes. And get dressed. Maybe shower. Ach, no…too much effort.

But now, seriously, I need to eat. And I really don’t have much time to cook, because I’m so hungry. I’m losing focus. I need to eat right now. I’m having a blood sugar crash. What do I have that won’t take more than, literally, five minutes, because that’s all I have. I’ve got to get back to work. And who has 30 minutes, Rachael? You might not understand this but people are busy.

Five Minute Couscous
By The Wooden Spoon

¾ cup couscous
pinch ground cinnamon
salt, pepper (you know the drill)
handful sliced almonds
smaller handful raisins
half-handful of torn basil or parsley
olive oil, if you feel like it

1. Plug the kettle back in. You were just using it for coffee, so the water should take no more than 30 seconds to heat up.

2. Assemble most of the ingredients in a to-go container: couscous, cinnamon, seasonings, raisins. The kettle is ready. Pour in a cup of water. Stir it a bit with a fork. Put the lid on it and let it sit two minutes.

3. Taste it – it’s good! Whoa. And it took two minutes? And it’s kind of like cooking because the couscous went from dry and inedible to soft and yummy. Fie on those recipes that want me to simmer it and take out an actually cooking implement. I’m going green with all the energy I saved.

4. Fluff that couscous with a fork, add the herbs and voila! Take it out of the container, (what are you, an animal?) put it on a plate and drizzle with a little olive oil.

5. Now get back to work. You've taken enough time.